When I tell people about what I do, they think of their own wedding and I often hear them say something along the lines of "I wish we would have..." or "If I could go back and change.." Although as a bride I too had some minor regrets about not dedicating more time to spending time with friends and family before and after our wedding, and not taking more family pictures; the point is you cannot go back and change it. I encourage couples to remind themselves that no part of life is absolutely perfect, and a wedding is no exception. Weddings bring together family and friends all to one place, and it will most likely be the first and perhaps only time that you ever plan such a large event. If you have in your mind a play-by-play plan for your wedding, please accept and embrace the notion that somethings might not go exactly as planned.
If there is anything that I can do to help couples avoid having these "post-wedding blues" it is to stress the importance of hiring professionals. Brides that attempt to plan the entire wedding, and handle the day of coordination most often feel overwhelmed, and upset when things do not seem to be on track. Having professionals on your side to keep your event running smoothly will certainly calm your nerves on your wedding day.
On some of the wedding forums that I belong to, brides commonly write a "Wedding Day Recap" post which usually describes their experience (good and bad.) Some brides have this overwhelming feeling now that their wedding is over, because they have put so much energy into planning and now its over. What they should see though is that a whole new chapter is beginning, which is being a homeowner or living together, being a wife, and someday a mother will bring on a much bigger challenge than being a bride!
Some suggestions to help you enjoy your wedding experience, and avoid the post wedding blues:
Ask For Help
Allow your wedding planner to assist you in task such as contacting venues, and setting consultations etc. For the DIY brides, consider using some of the A La Carte Options offered by propesctive wedding coordinators such as site visits, contract negotiations and hourly services. Meet with the coordinator as much or as little as you need, but you will be able to check in and make sure that your planning is on track. If you have friends or family that have offered to help, consider delegating some of the tasks such as folding programs, tying bows etc.
The rehearsal dinner is pretty standard when it comes to a wedding, yet many couples don't take advantage of this time well. Use your rehearsal dinner to run through the ceremony, and do not be afraid to ask to read the passages that your officiant plans to use. You then have the ability to ask for any changes, and it may also help you get some of the jitters out. Make sure to ask if your photographer is familiar with your venue, if not consider asking them to attend the rehearsal in order for them to get acquainted with the space.
Stay Active Before and After Your Wedding
It is easy to get consumed with your planning process, so make time to exercise and get lots of rest in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Stay involved with your friends lives as much as possible, you don't want to go overboard on wedding stuff, so make sure to be a good friend to others. After the wedding, plan outings for you and your new husband to enjoy together such as sports games, or BBQ's with your families.
With that being said, I should say that every time I talk with someone about their wedding I notice they are smiling! Couples that have been married for 10, 20 or even 40 years talk about their wedding day like it was just yesterday and they remember what it felt like to walk down the aisle and dance together for the first time as husband and wife. Even when talking about some of their wedding day bloopers, they are still smiling because it was an amazing experience and they got married to the love of their life! Sometimes the best thing to do is to share your frustrations with others, so feel free to drop us a line and tell us about your wedding planning experience!